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…..30 Years On

There was a girl, a very small girl, perhaps only 7 in age and this girl was having the most wonderful childhood. She played with the golden sun shining on her face, dreamed in trees, swung over brooks and made den’s – the stuff of Robin Hood. At autumn, she picked bags bursting full of shining bright conkers that seemed to her, to be the greatest of treasure (in fact so much so, she would gather far more than her due). In summer days, she ran the school field with her friends and played amongst the laugher, dancing in her red check pinafore frock and shiny black shoes.

And then change happened through no fault at all really, no one’s fault at all. It was just the movement of life and she found herself uprooted and replanted, location, destination, all aboard please, the train is departing. And they were good days too, but not the same, for nothing ever captured her heart like her childhood home.

It’s taken 30 years to go back ……………

Today I found myself immersed in the same sunlight… the journey was strange, different. Somehow, I knew the way still. I recognised the familiar essence of the place far before I saw the landmarks of memories. The moment I sat in the park, my park, it was as if all the years, the stresses, the busyness, the lists, just… evaporated. Just me now, here in the present. In the contentment of now, the contentment of a 7 year old now .. just happy to be, to play, to dream, to hum, and spin and run.

Why did it take 30 year for me to return home? Well I don’t know really. Perhaps I never realised how much I missed it? No, that’s not true. The ache for home was there, I just didn’t want to identify it. Many times, I passed the motorway junction and thought “no not today”, too busy today, doing good and important things! Much like our faith, we get so busy with good things that we forget the source of our rest, the source of the simplicity of our identity.

Do you ache for the simplicity of your source? To feel completely contented, there is just one place where you will find it… Gods altar. Where you finally put things to rest, you come home. You remember who you are, who you belong to, who He made you to be. God’s Altar is our home, it’s where He provides His peace for us. Through His grace, His mercy, our peace is released.

For me the thought of going (coming) home almost seemed like going backwards. What would it achieve? We live in a world where we are taught to push on, push through, push past. But you know, even though we are now grownups, God will always gather us home. We are still, and always will be, His children, in our shiny black shoes and school uniform, covered in smiles or covered in grub, whatever the state of us, the welcome is always there .

And you know what, I learnt today that going home isn’t going backwards, because you arrive, from a different juncture in life. Giving an element of new perspective over old things. I also discovered today that new treasures are found when you are where your heart is. I discovered the most wonderful castle and gardens to play in with my children. I truly never knew they existed before. Perhaps God wants to call you back to Himself to show you new delights too.

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